Worth Not-Dating
by Pirate Lapis
Summary: It's a big party. People are getting drunk, and Tony Stark is getting Wonderwoman Drunk while Natasha is upstairs with Steve's best friend. (Batman x Wonderwoman)(Captain America x Black Widow) Not Teenagers Will update at least once a month


Worth Not-Dating

Romanrogers and Batwondy

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Batman POV

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Bodies swaying. Lights flashing. Both hated it.

Captain America and Batman sat on a couch, halfheartedly sipping their drinks. They had reached room temperature, and so they tasted closer to dog piss than actual beer.

It was the Big blowout party, celebrating the new year. There was three groups, the Sunday Strippers, the Dark Pony Partiers, and the Comical Capes. Deadpool had named them that, and it had stuck. They basically stuck to themselves, and made little subgroups, like DC and Marvel, though Batman was quite good friends with Hobbes the Tiger and, of course, Captain America.

See, it was like this: All the really famous kinds of comics were able to cross universes to a very small universe that expanded to fit the people, sort of like Harry Potter's Room of Requirement. Except the bathrooms didn't have doors, for some reason. But they were only able to do this on New Year's, and a few other days as well.

So of course there was a huge party. By this time, about 25% of the partygoers had gone to make out or more, inter-universally or not. Cap had pointed out Deadpool making out with Harley Quinn, and they both wondered how long it took her to notice his scar tissue.

Steve had bet ten bucks that she'd stick her hand down his pants and find out. Bruce knew better. She'd start kissing his neck and then find out. It was how she and him had made out last year, and how she and Han Solo had done it the year before that. He bet twenty bucks.

Even the real villains were behaving themselves. No one really hated each other here in the Hotelverse, just avoided. It was definitely felt to be more successful year.

Steve tried to start a conversation. Hey, uh, you know where black widow went?

Nope. You might want to check with Bucky. I think he went upstairs. Batman said a little cruelly. He smiled. Cap was a nice guy, like a blonde Superman (in fact, in the DC/Marvel crossover, they had been blended together), but he was to easy to mess with.

The man just about wilted before his eyes. He said in a sad voice. But then the wheels started turning in that blonde head. Cap had a comeback. You know, I think Wonderwoman was kissing Ironman an hour ago.

Batman's eyes bulged a little. Ok, so maybe there was some hate in the Hotelverse. Ironman was a low-down, dirty asshole who was a womanizer for real. Bruce only pretended to woman's right. He always picked out woman who knew it was just for the publicity. This usually led them to believe that he was gay, but that wasn't the real reason.

Will, you, uh, excuse me for a moment, he said to Steve. Steve might 'respect' (i.e. Not want to take action) his crush's wishes, but that wish was pretty stupid. Diana was sort of innocent, and he didn't want her to get hurt. The Avenger smirked as he got up and wandered through the crowd.

He'd hurt Diana himself, if they dated, of course, so that was

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why no one was really allowed to touch her. It might be considered creepy for him to leave threatening noted in the rooms of her would-be callers, but Both Clark and Wally felt the same way, so he was pretty sure it was ok. Besides, nearly all the guys that have her their numbers were just looking for a one-night stand.

Just like Tony, that asshole.

Didn't he have Pepper? Both canonically and in 'real' (only Deadpool was sure of what was real and what was not, and he preferred to stay out of that discussion. At least right now, anyway. What he meant was that they were dating even without the comics looking at them) life? Where was she anyway?

Bruce saw her talking to her friends over in a corner. Instead of flat-out telling her that her guy wasn't as faithful as he probably promised to be, he decided to ease into it. He slid into the circle, and after a few minutes of conversation, he asked his question.

Do you know what Tony is doing right now, because I have to ask him a few quest-?

The poor red herd's eyes widened, and she quickly exclaimed No! Shit, I haven't seen him for an hour! As she ran in his general direction.

Bruce ran straight to Tony, who had been holding a very drunk Wonderwoman as he grabbed another wine glass. Hey dude, he whispered as conspiratively as he was able, as if they were buddies. Heard Pepper is heading in your general direction.

The tan man's eyes bulged, and he just about did a spit take. He handed Diana into Bruce's arms, and ran off to find a circle of dudes, so as not to look suspicious. Thanks, Bats! He said as he disappeared into the crowd.

The person Tony was speaking to previously, Yoda, floated away, ghost-like. Oh well. Wasn't the weirdest thing he ha seen here. Bruce liked around.

Now 45% of the party's population was upstairs. Every year, he, Cap, Hobbes, and Wonderwoman were part of the 5% who didn't go upstairs. Whoever they were dating, and whoever they made out with, at the party or in their comics hadn't really interested them.

Hobbes was really into Tigra, but she was actually serious about being in love with Hank Pym, so that was out. Captain America was always too shy to ask Natasha out, and Batman... didn't want to darken Wonderwaoman's light. He'd just end up hurting her. It was better to live apart than hurt her.

He didn't know why Diana always sat with them. There was actually some acceptable people vying for her attention. True, a lot of them were female, but that wasn't the problem.

Let's just say she and Zatanna went to each other a lot when they got broken up with.

Diana looked up. She smiled and laughed goofily. Your face... Why so Serious?

Even when quoting one of the worst men in history, she was adorable. Her blue-black hair was glistening in the dark lights, and her blue eyes sparkled.

Yep, she was the most beautiful girl here. Diana was definitely worth not-dating.

Hey guys! Happy New Year! If you want more, just let me know through PM's or reviews. And I'll take requests for either Batman, Wonderwoman, Captain America and Black Widow POV's! Please review, and critique to your heart's content.


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